A
confession
Yeah, I
am cold-hearted.
I am not
the person you thought I am,
The
innocent girl you fell in love with.
Years ago
I've liked someone seven years older than me.
I was
young and a bit of a rebel.
He made
me feel alive, feel secured and loved.
It was a
time of my life where
all I
want is for the world to be destroyed.
Being a
middle child messed me up.
I have
always been abandoned and less loved.
And
people around me either judge
or
compare me with my siblings.
I may
seem fine but I'm breaking inside.
He came
and saved me from disappearing.
I owe him
that, that's why I go along with him.
I was
there when he needed me.
I was the
one who take care of him when he's sick.
I made
him laugh when he cried.
We were
doing fine until he suddenly left.
That's
where everything falls apart.
I admit I
never loved him.
But I
like him enough, even cared enough.
That's
why I’m sorry if you fell in love with me.
I'm sorry
if I break your heart without my notice.
I'm sorry
if you feel like I'm not loyal, or cared enough for you.
I don't
ever want to feel that pain again.
I might
die, seriously, I might killed myself.
That's
why I'm doing my best not to fall in love with you.
I'm doing
all I can to care enough
that
you'll stay cause I wanted you.
I'm just
fucking scared to fall in love.
If you
really want me then just try to understand.
Maybe one
day, no I'm sure of it...
There
will be a day I can bravely tell you I love you.
And that
would be for the person who stays.
Who won't
leave even if I'm like this.
Who will
tolerate my moody thoughts.
Who will
embrace my broken soul.
For that
guy, just wait.
I will
someday win over these demons of mine.
And for
the guy who left me....
I heard you’re
going to marry her soon....
I am
happy that you found your happiness.
Don't let
it end like we did.
Treasure
her more....
and love
her more so she won't slip away.
-SC
